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What I want for Christmas

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The King of Beer
December 7, 2012
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Dear Santa,

It’s that time a year again when you get list upon list of wants and needs from snotty nose kids around the world.  Well, I’m going to throw you a curve ball on this one and send you a list from a 30 year old with the maturity of a 12 year old.  Sounds good? I promise to forgo the milk cookies and set you out a shot of Woodford and a Cumberland bison burger instead.  I’ve been thinking long and hard (How has this not been a name for an ATG beer yet?) about what I would like for Christmas and finally cut it down to the following:

  1. A bottle of Pappy Van Winkle 23 year…or just get me a bottle of 23-year-old Buffalo Trace. Wait, what? Same thing. Ok. I’ll take both.
  2. I’d really like all the local brewers in Kentuckiana to get together and brew one beer next year for Louisville Craft Beer Week.  Barrel-Aged of course.  And I know it may be asking too much, but why can’t Louisville host a Great Taste of the South beer festival?  Just make sure Wurth is in charge and Kentucky or Louisville aren’t playing that day.
  3. I would really like a brand new dictionary so I can understand the big words the Curmudgeon uses in his articles.  Although college educated, I still can’t figure out what “choleric denunciations of the genre” means.
  4. A pony. Well, umm, a pony keg of either Kentucky Breakfast Stout or BA Gonzo…I’m not picky.
  5. I would really like my dog to not puke on the 18-hour road trip to VT, NH, and MA this Christmas.  I promise to FedEx you some Heady Topper.  I don’t need new skis, but a designated driver would be nice.
  6. Can you put coal in certain establishments’ stockings when you call and ask about a beer and they tell you they don’t have it?  Then you find out they fibbed so the employees/their friends could get the beer.  Thanks, they may already be on the Naughty List, check it twice!
  7. More London Balling from ATG, more Big Fella from BBC Taproom, more Watermelon Crack from Apocalypse, more Cumberland Roasted Pumpkin, and more Bourbon Daddy from NABC.
  8. A Brewers of Kentuckiana Calendar with Sam Cruz in all months that end in “R”
  9. Unlimited supplies of scotch eggs from the Holy Grale.

I think that’s about it Santa.  I know it’s a lot and I really don’t expect to wake up Christmas morning sober and see all of these things under the Christmas tree, but I will keep my fingers crossed.

Thanks in Advance,

Johnny King

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John King can kill two stones with only one bird. He is just that awesome. An Illinois native, John has learned to embrace the Kentucky culture by rarely using his turn signal and drinking his bourbon neat. An avid runner, outdoorsman, and carpenter, John has been able to integrate craft beer into all of these hobbies without a single trip to the hospital. Although his writing is sub-par at best, louisvillebeer.com employs him for his boyish charm and general affection for the local brewers.

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